Library shelves with lightbulbs which cast a warm light.

Just call me Ash

Thoughts on mental health, neurodiversity, polyamory and kink

Emotional Bleed

Two bottles of ink, spilling and mixing

This week has been amazing and awful at the same time. Last weekend, my kitten tested positive for Covid. Since we’d seen each other a lot in the days before, chances were I’d caught it too, so I decided to stay with her for the week. The reasoning was two-fold: I didn’t want her to be home sick by herself, but also I didn’t want to risk making my nesting partner sick as well.

3 min read



My mom called me today to ask how I was doing. It was so good to hear her voice, to talk about how my day went.

5 min read

That moment of perfect compersion

Two hands seen in a sunset, making a heart-shape

I’ve written a lot about my fear and insecurities in connection with poly, so today, let me write about a moment of happiness and beauty.

1 min read

That one time in the elevator

An elevator control panel, in dark brushed metal.

When I was in my late 20s, my partner and I visited Yaoicon in San Francisco. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, it’s a form of manga dealing with romance and sex between men, aimed mostly at women.

2 min read

Running low on happy juice

A deflated smiley balloon, lying discarded in the street.

I can feel it. Suddenly, I have a deep urge yo flirt with people, to post nudes, anything to get a boost.

1 min read

When enthusiasm turns to dread

A person wearing a grey hoodie standing in front of a mountain

My break from work has been amazing so far. I haven’t been bored for a second yet, and I’m starting to feel inspired and full of ideas again… and that’s exactly the problem.

1 min read

Telling yourself the Story

A pink rose lying on a dark green book.

A while ago I wrote about how, the moment I started to take my writing seriously, I froze. Perfectionism hit, and it left me caught like a rabbit in the headlights, unable to progress.

3 min read