Slowly you approach the Sphinx. It was a long journey, but the famed treasure is almost yours. All you need to do now, is answer the riddle.
As some of you may know, I’m a pretty devoted Bullet Journal user. It’s one of the few ADHD methods that really works for me, and I’ve been consistently using a Bullet Journal for close to 4 years now. That’s longer than pretty much any habit I’ve formed, except for morning coffee.
I’d told myself that I’d give my book a fair shot by marketing it until Halloween. After that, I’d take a break. It’s been 2 months since I released the book, time to look back and reflect a bit.
Wait, what? Isn’t that the same? No, I’d like to argue that it isn’t.
Less of a post, than an announcement: I wrote my first guest blog!
This week has been amazing and awful at the same time. Last weekend, my kitten tested positive for Covid. Since we’d seen each other a lot in the days before, chances were I’d caught it too, so I decided to stay with her for the week. The reasoning was two-fold: I didn’t want her to be home sick by herself, but also I didn’t want to risk making my nesting partner sick as well.
I’ve written a lot about my fear and insecurities in connection with poly, so today, let me write about a moment of happiness and beauty.
When I was in my late 20s, my partner and I visited Yaoicon in San Francisco. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, it’s a form of manga dealing with romance and sex between men, aimed mostly at women.
No, I’m not talking about promoting it. I’m talking about the emotional labour ahead.
I can feel it. Suddenly, I have a deep urge yo flirt with people, to post nudes, anything to get a boost.
My break from work has been amazing so far. I haven’t been bored for a second yet, and I’m starting to feel inspired and full of ideas again… and that’s exactly the problem.
A while ago I wrote about how, the moment I started to take my writing seriously, I froze. Perfectionism hit, and it left me caught like a rabbit in the headlights, unable to progress.
I was watching American Horror Story, and oh boy… did that make me uncomfortable.
Where I talk about how trying to follow the neurotypical manual will lead to worse outcomes for neurodivergent humans.
I had a free Saturday today, after a fun but busy munch last night. So, since I didn’t have any specific plans, and I didn’t feel like doing anything too mentally taxing, I decided to go for a hike.
I promised I’d share some of the things I’ve learned during therapy, so here goes. All the usual disclaimers apply: I’m not a psychologist, so feel free to correct me if I’m explaining this wrong.
I got a comment today that hit me pretty hard emotionally. By the phrasing it used it felt to me like I was being accused of acting in bad faith.
It’s been a few weeks since I “graduated” my first series of therapy sessions. I’ll probably be going back later, but for now I’ll try to apply what I have learned.
A while ago I was called out in the comments on one of my writings about a classist comment I made. I took a few minutes to process before responding and had to admit that the commenter was in fact completely right. I had (and still have) a ton of internalised classism.
Not too long ago a mainstream newspaper in the Netherlands (Volkskrant) did some reporting about de-transitioning and the change in who was looking for gender-affirming treatment. It talked about how originally the majority had been AMAB and now the number of AFAB persons had risen. It also raised concerns about the mental health of these people.
So. Have you ever listened to a Black comedian say pretty insulting stuff about white people and thought: “How is this OK? If a white guy said the same things about black people there would be hell to pay!”
So, another entry in our long-running series “Things that scare Ash”. I’ll probably be writing a bunch more of them, feel free to skip.
Note: this is a bit long and rambling, just a bunch of thoughts I’ve been having.
Something that has been stuck in my mind for a while now. My formative years were the 90s and I was very much brought up with the idea that as a guy, you had to earn a girl’s attention.
A few days ago there was talk about vasectomies again on my timeline, partially because of recent developments on US abortion law. I mentioned that I had meant to write about my experiences, so here goes.
In my list of recent insights, I included “Be Brave”. This one has special meaning to me.
So yeah, showerthoughts they call it. That moment when you just let your brain run where it will and a realisation hits you like a ton of bricks.
… and I’d like to share my experiences.
On my Fetlife timeline today there was a post by a woman asking for help with a troublesome new partner of her ex.
A little while ago I was on a very lovely first date with some really nice conversation (some really lovely messing around too, but that’s a story for another day!). During the conversation I said something along the lines of “Pretty much all my friends are queer, and I’m the odd hetero out. Some times I wish I could just become honorary queer and distance myself from all the toxic BS going on with lots of cishet men.”
We have had this rule, ever since we started. It was mostly a result of both of us dealing with exes who would mangle the truth, hide things or flat-out lie. The rule is very simple: say what is on your mind. Or as we like to more aptly call it:
I hurt myself today, to know that I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that’s real
My mom called me today to ask how I was doing. It was so good to hear her voice, to talk about how my day went.
I’d like to take you along with me with what goes on in my head on a typical morning run.
Ik zie best veel posts langs komen de afgelopen tijd over termen als cisgender waarbij ook mensen die ik normaal gesproken best hoog heb zitten zich afvragen waar al die terminologie over gaat en waar het voor nodig is.
So, there has been a lot of talk going on again on fat/fit shaming… time for me to break out my favourite technique: the analogy.