Ashtar Deza
by Ashtar Deza
1 min read


  • Humor


  • masochism
  • running

I’d like to take you along with me with what goes on in my head on a typical morning run.

So, picture me in Starfleet uniform (TNG style ofcourse!), on the bridge of the USS Ashford. Red alert is flashing and alarms are going off.

Me: “Snotty, I need more speed!” Snotty: “I’m sorry captain, we’re giving it everything we’ve got! This vessel is nearly 41 years old and coming apart at the seems!” Me: “I don’t care! Push harder!”

I pace the bridge dramatically while all around me alarms keep going off, and a console explodes in a sea of sparks… though the crew member manning it is strangely unscathed.

“Captain! We’re getting reports from the propulsion units that they are near their breaking point!” “Damnit, ignore and keep going!”

This goes on for about 2km when suddenly Snotty sighs deeply…

“OK lads, he’s not buying it… open ‘r up!”

All of a sudden there is the sound of the warp core spinning up, the alarms fade, the lights come on to show Snotty with a broad grin on his face.

“Ready to go where-ever you want captain! Warp code output is at 100%, shields at maximum, fasers charged and photon torpedoes ready! Just tell us who to shoot!”

I arch an eyebrow at Snotty.

“Nevermind shooting anybody, just get us to the starbase at top speed.” “Aye captain, but just the starbase? We could keep going all the way into the Neutral Zone! Hell, we could go to the Delta Quadrant!”

“Just the starbase will do Snotty, the starbase will do”.

Endorphins and testosterone…. marvelous stuff!

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