Skippie

I sit and watch your face. So peaceful, so lovely.

There you go … good boy. You can do it. Yes, open your eyes. I know it’s bright, but I need you to open your eyes for me. There you go.

You don’t know it yet, but you’re making me proud already. My Skippie. My dear sweet Skippie.

Oh, you look so confused. I can almost hear the thoughts racing through your mind right now… “Where am I? How did I get here?”

It’s always the same, but that’s OK. We’ve been here before. I’m here. Daddy’s here. I’ll hold you through it.

My Skippie. My dear sweet Skippie. How I’ve missed you. It took me so long to find you again, but I did.

I love this part. The moment when memory sets in, and I can see the look of fear in your eyes.I know I shouldn’t enjoy it so much, but I do. That feeling in the pit of my stomach, the familiar heat as I can feel a few drops staining my underwear, the ache in my groin.

Your eyes dart around the room, widening when they settle on my face. You’ve recognised me. I was careful, but despite all my precautions, you must have spotted me. Seen me as I followed you, making sure you really were my Skippie.

That’s OK. None of that matters now. I found you again. My Skippie. My dear sweet Skippie.

Let me sit beside you and gently stroke your hair. It’s brown now. I remember when it was blonde. Brown is OK. I like brown.

Ah, I see you’ve noticed your restraints. Yes, test them, feel how securely I’ve tied you. It’s for your own good, Skippie. Do you remember that one time, when I didn’t tie you properly?

No, of course you wouldn’t. You don’t remember me. You never do. You always forget your Daddy. That’s OK. I still love you. I’ll help you remember.

It breaks my heart when you say your name isn’t Skippie. When you deny me, deny how much I love you and how much I’ve done for you. Do you know how hard it was to find you? Do you realise how much this hurts me? Do you? Do you?

You’ll remember, I’ll make you remember.

I … I’m sorry Skippie. I’m sorry for yelling at you just now. When you said I was confused … it just hurt so much. I’m not confused, you’re the confused one. You’re the confused one! Forgetting your Daddy like that.

Those bruises on your throat won’t show so much once you wear your collar again. There, isn’t that better? See how nicely it covers those angry purple marks where my fingers gripped you? You really shouldn’t make me angry like that. It’s not fair. I don’t like it when you make me do things like that. When you make me hurt my Skippie.

Remember the last time you made me so angry? How you ended up all broken? I saw that image in my sleep for days, the way your neck was twisted at that crooked angle, bones sticking out through your skin. And the look in your eyes, frozen in that last moment. It was horrible to see you like that.

And then, I had to go out and find you again. For weeks, I had to drive around at night, until I finally spotted you again. Your hair was auburn then, and your eyes were green. I recognised you though. I always recognise you. I always find you again.

Will you be good if I loosen the restraints a bit? Then you can sit at my feet while I watch TV, as you always did. Right where you belong.

Your cage is all ready for you. A nice, safe place for you to sleep, where nobody can hurt you. A bowl full of your favourite food. Doesn’t that sound nice?

Here, let me just loosen … No!

Bad Skippie!

…

Skippie?

Skippie?!

Oh, thank goodness … I was worried there for a moment. I thought … you really shouldn’t make Daddy angry like that. You know what happens.

Here, let me see. Yes, that tooth is loose … let me just … got it! Oh, don’t be such a baby, Skippie. It’s just a tooth. You have plenty left. Now, will you be good? Yes? Good boy.

The next few days, I’ll put soft food in your bowl. Porridge, mush. Yes, I know you don’t like mush, but it’s good for you.

Remember when you were sassy and your jaw got broken? It pained me so much to see that. You wouldn’t eat the mush, and we needed to use the funnel. Please don’t do that again.

Of course, you don’t remember. Sometimes I envy you.

Now tell me, what’s your name? Speak up!

Yes, yes, YES!

Skippie!

You remember! That makes me so happy! I … I shouldn’t cry, but … you don’t know how hard it was! You not recognising me. Not recognising your own Daddy, who loves you so much, who worked so hard to find you.

Your Daddy who sacrificed everything, just for his Skippie. But it’s alright, all is forgiven.

Come sit at my feet. Did you notice the little red light on your collar? It’s new. I made it myself. If you’re bad … well, see this remote? Setting one will give you a little shock. Setting two is for when you’ve been really bad… and setting three? Let’s not talk about that, OK? No need for that kind of bad, nasty business. You’ll never make me use it, will you? You wouldn’t to that to your Daddy.

Come here, come sit at my feet. That’s right, let me stroke your hair. Why are your teeth chattering? What are you afraid of?

You know that everything I do is for your own good. I love you, Skippie, and Skippie loves his Daddy, doesn’t he?

He does? Good boy. Such a good boy. We’re going to have so much fun together.

Are you hungry? I’m hungry. This has been such hard work. Here, stay in your cage while Daddy fixes dinner.

Skippie? I made your favourite! Some nice soft oatmeal for you, and steak for me.

Wait … why is the cage open? Skippie? Where are …

Skippie! Why??

Surprising Daddy like that, trying to get through the door. You ruined everything. The porridge is all over the floor, together with my delicious steak. My favourite steak knife now has a broken blade … and you got both of us covered in blood. Why did you have to struggle and fight like that? You knew what would happen!

Why do you keep making me break you?!

Here, let me see … take your hand away, let me look at … stop it! Oh dear, black blood. The knife must be stuck in your liver. Why, Skippie? Why did you do this? I’d only just found you! We could have had so much more fun.

I know it hurts … just close your eyes, it will all be over soon.

My dear, sweet Skippie.

Tomorrow, I’ll go back out and look for you.

I’ll find you again. I always do.